What’s Wrong with me???

How difficult raising children can be??? Question that often came in my mind while planning for a pregnancy… And now here I am, a mother of two toddlers laughing on my stupid assumptions of parenting being an easy job. My mother warned me though…😀😉 She is like always giving examples of how difficult I was or my brother was to raise… But my mind, to ne honest, always answered me like you two turned out okay… I mean, if not extra-ordinary, yet fine…😀 I mean, We were never argumentative, disobedient or disrespectful (at least never intended to😊), we listen to our parents till date….obey them, respect them, love them unconditionally and try our best to make them happy.

Then what is wrong with my kids?? I know they are tiny little tots and they are allowed to be little fussy and naughty sometimes… And they are not intentionally bad yet it hurts.

Their rudeness at times and disobedience somehow put me into a situation where I start questioning my parenting process… My mind is like what did I do wrong? Why are they behaving this way? Why am I lacking the effort?? Pondering over the things we do, we share, we say… I always feel like it must be me who is doing things wrong!!! Then I am more disappointed with myself than my kids and more depressed.

Then I have to be strong also infront of them to express my disapproval of their behaviour. I would act numb to them,even unresponsive to their funny acts and efforts to please me and make me happy and to forgive them. It becomes an emotional rollercoaster and through out my self conscious guilt doesn’t end. I feel helpless sometimes… My heart wants to be happy, all smiley and forgiving and normal but my mind is at constant alert…and believe me its mentally and emotionally very very drenching. And when finally they fall asleep, I get the chance to shed off the angry, disappointed mother and to bring out the loving me who is more sad within herself but can’t express how it feels.. reaching silently to my sleepyheads… Kissing them gently to say a peaceful night and sweet dreams. May God give us strength.

Next day a fresh start will be needed with no talk to little talk and then gradually making progress towards complete peace with a lesson to learn… Parenting isn’t that EASY if you are aware of it.

A mother’s guilt never ends may be, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to stop blaming myself for every mess… Cause somehow it has entered into my mind that I am responsible for everything. That inner fight has a long way to go… I can sense that. Eventually I need to learn to let go of things easily and My kids… Ohhmykids…they need to learn a lot😉😀.

🥰🥰 Ohh My Kids…. Whats in store!!? 🥰🥰

Share your experiences of guilt, sleepless nights, messy heads with me. And anyone out there, planning to enter into the journey of parenthood… Beware… Its gonna be a rollercoaster ride…🥰

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November 26, 2021 0

How I deal with a ‘No’ from my kids

If you are a parent then you are quite familiar with this word No that often we parents get from our kids.Kids of all ages are experts in expressing their dissent with a straight forward and sometimes rude No.

Well I personally believe it is okay to have an opinion and to express them in most honest way possible and as parents we must provide our children with that comfortable and friendly atmosphere where they can express themselves fearlessly with integrity.

But the story takes wrong turn when as parents we know that the No is unacceptable for a situation and that it is going to harm our kids in a way or other because of our prior experiences and lessons from life.

Here comes our task of choosing a path to deal with the situation. Well it’s not that as parents we have many roads open but the most walked road is always to be the Strict and Tough parents where Rule is Rule and Disobedience is Punishable.Well as I said it is the most walked road hence it proves to be working since centuries.Yes ofcourse there lies some tensions, rough patches but eventually things get better with time.. for some everything is okay within few days,for some its weeks and may be months.But memories we build never fade away.

And things continue…right.Thats how our grandparents were treated and they treated our parents in same way.. and to continue the family tradition we have been treated the same way by our parents and so we treat our kids mostly the same way. Are we gonna break the chain of action and reaction ever?? I often ask myself. And from there I get the urge to walk down the road less traveled.😊

I believe disobeying isn’t a crime unless we are in an army squad.And the truth is our home is not a camp where obeying your commanders is your top most priority..right. If we are talking about home that means we are talking about freedom, talking about a caring and loving atmosphere, talking about compassion and disobeying here means disapproval of one’s opinion. And in a homely atmosphere we must learn to accept each other’s freedom of thought and expression.As parents we just have to guide our children to express their disapproval or dissents in most humble and compassionate way.

I as a mom, believe in taking some No(s) from my kids in a positive way as their freedom of expression and independent opinion at the same time I respect their choices every time I see there won’t be any serious consequences in agreeing to their terms and in return they know that I respect their preferences and requests so when in times I feel the need to get their consent on something really serious or not accepting their No, I make my way saying… ” I understood and respected your choice that day and its you turn to do the same”…(for serious matters we sit down and have a discussion) And if not 100%, but 90% it works for me. For few matters I would like to blame their age, afterall they are toddlers and they have their age related tantrums 😀😀.

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I believe this can work with kids of all ages.Children love when they are treated as adults so having their opinion or acknowledging a No from them is something to show them that they are equally important and their thoughts matter. This will surely give them a sense of gratitude, feeling of independence and teach them to maintain a cordial relationship with all family members. Moreover they will grow their dicision making power and will learn to value other’s opinion too.

What is your say and experiences and how do you deal with such situations… Share with me in the comment section.

“Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.”
–Lady Bird Johnson

You might check out the recommendations below and learn a lot from expert minds. Parenting is a never ending school. Each time you believe you got it, your kids are back with a surprise basket 🤗😊. Learning has no ends and with changing time challenges are new and unexpected. Some guidance in such situations are always helpful.

November 8, 2021 0

Positive Parenting is for Positive Perspective

Hi there!!

If you are a parent by now you must have experienced that you were rewarded for all your good deeds and criticized, sometimes brutally, for all the misdeeds… Right!!

Well that was quite a common approach of parenting in the past and even in the recent past as well… But things have changed a lot from the perspective of parenting.

Today we are more sensible and conscious regarding our parenting principles and their effects on our children… That is where the Positive Parenting Ideas generated from.

Thank God, for that 😊💗

Well positivity is no more a fancy word. In today’s competitive environment Positivity is the only thing that keeps you motivated and moving forward. Positive outlook, needless to say, improves our quality of thought and action along with our responses towards a particular situation.

In Positive Parenting children are trained to look into a situation with a positive a mindset instead of just following the rulebook of right and wrong. They work and act as a conscious being and gradually that becomes a part of their personality.

Moreover it improves relationship and bonding between parents and children which is a great thing because with time somehow the distance in relationship often jeopardize the most beautiful bond on earth.

So next time you find your tiny ones gets caught red handed for breaking something or messing up your important things or destroying your make-up kit.. instead of punishing them make them understand why are you really upset with their behaviour and give them one opportunity to rectify themselves.

Similarly when your tiny ones are giving you a moment of pride, instead of handing them over things from their wishlist, appreciate generously and make them realise why you are so proud of their work and how they have reached to another level of being a good human being 💝.

With the old school parenting style of reward and punishment we miss the chance of understanding the work that has been done and the reason of the consequences of either reward or punishment. It lacks compassion and empathy which I think is very very important when it comes to Parenting.

Though its not an easy task but with time we learn better things and especially if it is something related to our children, our bonding with them & their character; certainly we must give ourselves a chance to improve.

Bottomline is often we fail to realise that most of the time, the situation is not the real problem, but our reaction towards the situation is. Hence, with a changed view, an open mind and a positive attitude we can look into things in a way never looked before and find long-term solution without compromising our peace of mind.

In short if I say in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt – “You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude.”

Share your opinion and experiences in the comment section, I would love to hear from you ❤️

PC:https://quotesgram.com/positive-parenting-quotes/

October 7, 2021 0